i wish i were a fish
~dawn marfil~

missing you has never been quite so easy.
all i need to do with utmost solemnity
is brethe and with that i shall begin
the easy process of remembering your absence.

to think that breathing speaks of life is a fallacy.
it is nothing but a screaming yellow post it
attatched to my forehead that says "i'm alive but without you"
which really is another state of death.

what if i trade my lungs for gills?
then breathing with my gills
will not be the same
as breathing without you.

becoming a mermaid
has always been a dream of mine
and now
i know why.

trading water for air,
i would have exchanged this world
for a world without you. oh but i forgot
a small but not necessarily insignificant detail - memory!

the would of air and the world of water
will not erase the cursed
but beloved memory
of you from my disobedient head.

it refuses to unremember you
no matter how many times i torture it
with banners that say
"he's never coming back!"

but wait, a fish has a short memory has it not?
that's why goldfish swim
from one end of the bowl to the other,
thinking that thye've never been there before.

i want that kind of memory.
after all, it seems that it is the kind that you have.
why should i not be blessed
with the same forgetfulness?

overdramatic outpourings of tortured poetry and prose
are all i have to show for this
short-lived romantic entanglement
and i wish to disentangle myself from it,
from you.
i wish to become a fish who needs not the air you breathe.

alix | 6:58:00 PM